Reflections on gratitude.

A few days ago, an athlete called me to say thank you. Unsolicited.  Not for the winning, which we did. But for the lessons shared.  You might ask ‘So what. There’s nothing special about a thank you.’ So, I will share this – the period of time the athlete was referring to occurred 30 years ago.

It is no coincidence that just a few weeks prior in a webinar with a global audience, I spoke about this:

And that’s just a little example of gratitude that it’s a lifelong gratitude from an athlete when you help them create a legacy and fulfil their potential.[1]

I say no coincidence because this expression of gratitude over this time frame is not an uncommon experience for me.

Those who spend a few days with me know it’s unlikely much time passes when a real athlete who I really helped win expresses their unsolicited gratitude. [2]

However, it still stands out.  For me, it speaks to the character of the athlete. I take as much pride in the person I have helped them become as in the sporting legacy.

I have encouraged this trait in writing:

Show gratitude. The human emotion of gratitude is one I value and teach in all aspects of living; however, in the context of the student, I strongly encourage you to use it. Whether the teaching is short or long, what you wanted to hear or not, express your gratitude. This rewards the teacher and encourages them to continue teaching – be it to you or subsequent students.[3]

The premium I place on culture is reflected by its presence in KSI’s 19 points of culture:

Gratitude … I am a truly grateful person. I say thank-you and show appreciation often and in many ways, so that all around me know how much I appreciate everything and everyone I have in my life. I celebrate my wins and the wins of my team and clients. I consistently catch myself and other people doing things right … [4]

Personal character traits, including gratitude, figure high in our athlete development message:

I don’t have an expectation for them, it’s their path in sport, but as far as behaviour and attitude, that’s not really negotiable. To do their best and be positive, show gratitude and be courteous, respectful. [5]

And it’s not just the athletes. As coach education is the almost-as-long-serving concurrent aspect or our combined service, we also receive similar in this genre – unsolicited, multi-decade later gratitude.

Ian,  your teaching has been something I have been using since we met over 20 years ago. One of the best decisions I made in my life.  It has helped me tremendously professionally  & personally. Just wanted to say thanks.—Miguel [6]

You might see others reach similar conclusions:

I think the same thing happens with relationships. Business, personal, family relationships, etc. They start off young and that’s when you can build almost a “relationship myelin” around them. You do that by being honest with people, by showing gratitude, by not overusing the connection, by treating it just right so it develops into something that can last a lifetime. If someone does something for you, show you are grateful.[7]

People often ask, ‘Who was your favorite athlete?’ To which I respectfully decline to answer, deflecting by saying something along the lines of ‘A parent should not have a favorite child’. Then I go on to say I can, however, tell you about those who make their mark by their character trait of consistent and long-term gratitude.

Such as the athlete whom I helped to a Silver Medal in the 1992 Auckland Commonwealth Games, who would send me an annual thank you card for years following…

Or the contact sport athlete who became the most capped in the world in his sport and reached out to me by phone annually for the year following…

Or the athlete who, 30 years later, gave me reason to share this.

 

References

[1] King, I., 2025, Optimal athletic performance, Kent, UK, Sat 11 Oct 2025 (Seminar/Video)

[2] King, I., 2019, How did you develop your approach to flexibility, Off the Record #50, 31 July 2019

[3] King, I., 2005, The way of the physical preparation coach, Ch 21 – Become a student

[4] King, I., 2009, KSI 18 Points of Culture

[5] King, I., 2014, Coaching Mastery, Cape Cod, 13-14 April 2014, USA (Seminar)

[6] King, I., 2025, Personal communication, Email received 25 March 2025

[7] Altucher, J., 2014, 10 Things I learnt when interviewing Tony Robbins about money, The Stanberry Digest,18 Nov 2014